I was reading back through some of my old entries and I have decided that I sometimes come across a little “preachy”…like I know something you don’t and I am going to “bless” you by sharing “my” wisdom. For the record, anything that I write about that sounds the least bit instructional is something that I am trying to learn myself…something that I think God is trying to teach me…something that I have recently discovered as being important for me to know or remember. For instance, in my last entry, I talked about real listening requiring us to give up our need to be right and our need to know all the answers. Anyone who has known me for any length of time will know that those are issues with which I personally struggle. For my whole life, I have been convinced that any answer I need can be discovered if I just find the right book. The right page in the right book will lead me to THE perfect knowledge that will solve the problem at hand and give me the complete understanding I seek. While being a parent has in many ways cured me of that notion :-), I think I still believe that on some deeper level. Yes, I know, the bible is the ultimate “right” book, but I have recently discovered that God doesn’t mean for me to understand all of it right now…my mind and my spirit aren’t nearly ready for more than little bits of God’s wisdom at a time. So I am learning to be happy for my manna size portion of His wisdom each day and rest in the certainty that I may get a bit more understanding if I show up tomorrow. It is both disconcerting and freeing to find that, the older I get, the more I realize how little I know…but the more I REALLY know the things that I do KNOW. (I will pause here a moment for you to all re-read that sentence 10 or 12 times…)
As I said when I started this blog, sometimes I learn stuff best by writing it down and examining my thinking through playing with words. My experience both professionally and personally has been that we all struggle with different versions of the same issues, so my assumption is that you, my dear readers, may be getting stuck in the same areas that I am. If I ever sound like I am being preachy or that I am speaking to you from a place of superior knowledge, please forgive me and ignore my first-born tendency to sound like I am “bossing” you! By the way, I just looked up the word “preachy” that I keep using….you’ll love this! Preachy is defined as “inclined to or marked by tedious moralization.” Lord, please save me from that!
I’ll post later about my interesting weekend….stay tuned!